nothing. never. nobody.

and the beat rolls on
the beat that used to be where my heart is just keeps walking, keeps moving,
slides like mad gaze into the refuge you hold your secrets in
and i'm skinny in soul, not much to talk about
heavy in mind and spirit overlay
short on time and it's like this fucking day will never end.

i walk for miles
through winter solstice, summer agony
through brambles that tear my aging skin to shreds
ribbons to celebrate the death of insanity,
birthed into vanity
and music rises epic bringing blanket-like warmth to this being.
the crescendo threatens to destroy me
but i hold on, aching feet blistering sneer
hollow where my center is feels like such weight
walking solitary dialogue trying to hold it all together

nothing like a pretty girl to bring it all back to zero
nothing like the shiver
as the bourbon loosens this morality

we pound chests, scream like angry primates
this simian rage better suited for movies about angry corpses as illustration
of freud hungry abstractions

I can't sleep, can't breathe
i remember feeling better when i floated on the waves of an aftershock
and there's never any pain in the shame when you've thrown yourself away again.
when the dress hits the floor
and the lip feels the sting of my teeth breaking through the surface
i am the core of you
the everything
fading narrow into half-remembered mythology
jarred back to life by a sight, a smell,
a rogue memory

just a wisp
of an idea

is all i ever was.